January 7, 2013 12:03 AM

Yes it is A.M. This is me since our home burned down almost a year ago. I can not go to bed at night. Now whether or not it is from the fear of falling a sleep and a fire should break out, or what but since that early morning of Feb 24, 2012 fire I have a problem with it. It was my 58th birthday. But Bob and I got out alive, by about two mins, and I am forever grateful to the two men who happen to be going by our home at 3:00AM delivering early morning papers.That kept on knocking on our door to wake us up. God was watching out for us. But still to lose everything you ever owned in your entire life  is the most unbelievable thing you can imagine. No under ware no shoes, no coats, no pants no purse, wallet, comb etc. Not to mention everything else that we accumulated with a 38 year marriage and 4 children. Baby clothes, antiques, baby cradles, kids pictures. What more can I say. Enough of self pity.

I have been having tipping issues lately really driving me nuts. I stand at the stove, sink or what ever and I tip, either backwards, forwards, sometimes sideways, always trying to catch myself to straighten myself up so I do not fall. When I say tip I mean tip so far back on my heals that I am almost falling. Mostly backwards. If this keeps up I may have to call Dr. Santillan my neurologist. But I do not want more steroids. I really do not. I also have been finding myself not saying the right words again for things, really having to think about the word I want to use, to try to get it out of my mouth right but still do not. It is not as bad as it has been in the past but I am a little concerned. I did go to my H.E. group and asked if anyone has any ideas so we will see if anybody has had this before and what they did for this. I love that group it has helped me through some panicky moments. I also am getting the zaps in my skull again, I hate that, it hurts only for a brief sec or two, but it still takes me back and when it happens it happens for days at a time. Boy am I a complainer tonight, gee can not stand myself, lol.

Tues I start swimming. I decided I have to start doing something. I love swimming and my doctors have told me that is the best exercise for me with my issues, so just need to make a plan and do it. I just hate putting a suit on and going in front of people after all the steroid use, I think you who have been on steroids know what I am talking about. But I need to do this for me. I just hope it does not aggravate the small fiber neuropathy or the myostis as the night before last I sat in my chair with such pain (sfn) in my legs everywhere and in my feet, knees, crotch area, that no matter what I did or moved it ached. Like I had walked all day shopping. But I am going to give it a real good try.

I was going to start on this blog talking about my illnesses and what they do to me, what the symptoms were the treatments to see if it will help someone else somewhere along the line if they happen upon the blog. But really do not know where to start. Start from the last diagnoses or from the first that is the question.

I think it will be later today when I start the subject.