Whine, whine, whine

So been going to Physical Therapy for over a month, almost a month and a half, and no improvement. My doctor at PT said he thinks he has been pushing me to fast so he has slowed down the PT with me. It could be so, because I really have not had any improvement in my legs and back. So now what, my Neurologist said if I had no improvement with in a month to come back, but that is a joke, I cannot get back into her until Sept. I love her she is so nice and good, but I hate that when the doctor tells you to do something and then you can not do it because you can not get into see her. Good sign she is so busy but gee now what. I know it is not life threatening but one still gets anxious to know what is up when it is like this. I know with me, it is hard to say why, or what it is that causes the pain, I may have to start documenting symptoms again for the doctors like I use to, stopped for a while because I thought it did not matter anymore, wrong thing to do. So bit of advice to anyone with a chronic illness never stop documenting, you never know when you will need it.

Barametric Pressure and Pain

I was told a few years ago from my rheumy that I should be aware of the weather. At the time I wondered, what the heck does the weather have to do with me? Well there were a few times that I figured it out rather quick. Unbelievable pain, then a day or two later major snow storms, or thunderstorms. But I guess I forgot those words of wisdom, as Tues my pain in all my joints, muscles, nerve endings hurt so bad I did not know what to do with myself. I blamed it on the physical therapy I had the day before as the dr had increased the workout as I was doing pretty well. But by the time I got home, I could hardly walk, then the next day I was chair bound. I would get up and use the bathroom, do a dish or two, I crawled down the basement stairs and did a batch of wash, but then back onto the chair. I hurt so bad even my pain pills were not touching it. I hurt even sitting, throbbing like a toothache, everywhere. Then three days later a storm front comes in. I big one. Then I remembered what my rheumy had said, a few days before is when you feel it. Wow another point for Dr. Hermitano. Although I do think it was a combo of the PT and the storm front coming in, It was bad. I hate days like that. It makes me realize I am sick. Other wise I can go along my merry way trying to ignore my legs hurting, or my back, or my feet, or hands, or shoulders etc because it has become a part of me, pain is part of my life. It is ok, as long as I can keep going. I have to accomplish something each day or I am not happy. So push, push, push, but still limit the activity level so I do not use all those dam spoons up. lol. But Tuesday I was disgusted with my body, with my doctors, with everybody. I did not even want to do my crafts, or type. Is it depression on days like this, maybe, is it just the pain, maybe. But what ever it is, I do not like it.

Forgot to say

I forgot to add, that I will do what ever I have to to help my health as I want to romp with my new grandaughter who is the delight and love of her grandmas and grandpas life. We have had so many terriable things happen in the last few years, and I could go back ten years if I wanted too, but she makes it all right. Puts things in porportion. Makes you see why we are here on earth. Spread our love, whether it is a little brand new baby who happens to be the most beautiful baby in the world (I am not kidding) lol. or to offer love to a stranger who needs someone to talk to. It does not matter that is why we are here. God is good to us.

Back IS A Mess

Well there is something good about learning you are not just a big baby, and there is a reason your back hurts so bad. But really, when I saw the report,(for which I need a magnafying glass, as I had to copy it off the web under my test results, with a page missing) still waiting for the hospital to send me a copy of the actual report. But anyway, but when I read it, and googled all the results, I was a little amazed I have days that I can do anything at all. The report showed (condensed version): Multi level degeneration disk disease Prominent facet hypertrophy lower lumber spine No stenois in central spine, but there is some right greater then left foraminal narrowing at L4 L5 becuase of disk uncovering the right is considered moderate, left mild (stenosis) There is also grade 1 subluxtion at this level L4 L5 Basicly this is what I get out of the report I need the magnifying glass for, lol. So I will cont. the physical therapy for a month and see what improvment I see. Hopefullly there is improvement verses surgery which scares the hell out of me. Yet as I research it does say, if you wait to long for surgery, it may do too much damage and the surgery will not help. And I know I have had this for a long time only to get so bad, I can not hardly walk. So onward we go.

Spinal Stenosis

Ok now, yes I was diagnoised with spinal stenosis. I just wrote for the copy of the report to see why I have it, what is the cause. As you see as I researched the diagnois I realized that is can be a result of scleroderma also. I had a feeling about this, as I went to scleroderma site and researched it. As I have been diagnoised with scleroderma, then changed to UDCT with features of scleroderma along with the rest of the mess I am. There are other causes also of this spinal disease but I need to see the report to find out which it is. Very interested. So I am to try physcal therapy for one month, and see how it works, if it does not help me then surgery. That Is scarey. I have been swimming since Jan and that has not helped and that is suppose to be the best source of exercise for me. So we will see give it a month and cross my fingers. I do wonder then if this is caused by scleorderma if they will change my connective tissue disease again back to scleroderma, who knows. Of course the last few days I have felt better, ha, ha, just like a kid. My dr. Neuro did say the neuropathy is more than likely causeing my stenosis worst because of the way I walk, or stand, or sit, etc. with the neruopathy, my feet, legs, arms are in pain, so I do things differently which could cause pressure on the spine. Makes sense to me. Well happy Memorial Day everyone. It is sunny and beautiful here in Michigan. I hope it is by you too.

PAIN AND WEAKENSS IN LEGS GETTING WORST

I went to the Neruologist weds and she is thinking that the weakness and pain I am having in my legs could be due to the back problems that I have been having for a long time. I am going in for an MRI next week to see if I have stenois in my spine. All ready know that I have denerative disk disease and faucet disease in my spine, but now looking for this. She did say that if it is there surgery may be in order. I really do not need this on top of everything else. It scares me I admit it. But yet I can not help but think that if I could walk more and do more with out all of the pain,it would be so worth it. Now I can not walk for ten mins without extreme pain. I sometimes all of a sudden realize how much pain I have all of the time. How it gets worst when I try to do something, or more than just normal everyday things. I never combline. But I am getting tired of the pain. So if there is a way to help me with this, I had better get over the fear of the back surgery. I would like to keep up with my new grandbaby who is the most beautiful thing on earth to me. She makes everything right. All the problems that we have had in the past few years all seem like nothing when looking into that babys eyes. I love her so much. My new puppy is keeping me busy, running afer him, hoping I can catch him fast enough when he squats, lol. I keep wondering how long it is going to be before he is house trained. I have never trained a puppy, we have always had dogs but my kids have always trained them. I never had nothing to do with it except to yell at the kids to keep their puppys in control. lol. Well I am learning now. What I have is a little teddy bear breed. He is adorable, the ladies that come in all love him to pieces. He is a little lover, butttt he is sassy, taking his time learning the rules of this house. Lucky for us our 12 year old lab likes him as he plays with him often. It is a sight to see this big black lab rolling around with this 4 pound puppy. Well time to go, my puppy wants to go to bed now, (our bed) for which I have said for over 40 years I would never ever have a dog in our bed, welllll guess what? The litte sassy puppy is in our bed. lol.

I Am Sick OF Being Sick

I normally take my illness with a grain of salt, cup half full, but tonight I feel the cup is draining. I am sick of being sick. Yet I know I am so lucky to be here, and to have treatment and things could be a lot worst.But when I am invited to go some place and I can not go,hurts. The dam Hashimoto's Encephlopathy is acting up. Yes more then likely my own fault, because I over did things this week, not physcally but with my brain. Trying to write and help others with their stories for our book on the same subject, the HE, and trying to get people to write their stories for our book, getting the fund raiser cook book ready to publish, etc. It over loaded my brain. I could not get my brain to function right. I could not figure out which thing to do first, over loaded, too much information. I use to be a clothing buyer, figuring out six months out on buying woman and mens clothing, which is very complicated believe this or not, owned my own business, did my own business plan, managed two stores at one time, I now can not handle too much in front of me, my brain will just like close down on me. I hate it. So since yesterday when it over loaded, I have not felt well, dizzy, eyes are funny, my head feels like my hair is pulled back tight in a rubber band, pulling, I am walking into things, dropping things, my face is burning, red, hot, hands are swollen all day long and worst at night, (this I believe is the UCTD. Been in the sun for which I am photosensative, so who knows right? But I do know the brain stuff is from the H.E. The problem is I do not look sick, I look in perfect health. In fact (well fed) healthy person. lol. But a person that lives with chronic pain and brain issues, is never ever a person in perfect health. I guess I am just having a pitty party for myself tonight. Well poor me, tomrrow will be better.