Better Week

Ok no whining this week. Better. I hurt but it is bearable. I can do stuff and rest, last week I could not do anything, resting did not help it was a very, very bad week. Thank you God for this good weak. I am thankful for any thing I get, really. My head still has pains in it, and my joints and muscles still hurt, walking into things, cant talk, but it is better, although last night I had that out of body experience again where I am afraid to drive, my arms and head feels so funny, out of it, like they are not there, Seizures? nobody can tell me, Neurologist said it could be the perherial neuropathy, but I do not know. Just do not like it because it scares the pants off of me. I know my neuropathy is getting worst it is spreading and bothering me more. But I can handle it. Maybe winter will be better for me. The book on Hashimoto's Encephalopathy is coming along. We are editing stories and keep getting people who want to write about their experience being diagnosed and living with this rare disease. That makes me so happy. The more stories the more it will help others. We are behind schedule as we hoped to have the book out last winter, but being sick with these autoimmune diseases, and my partner also who Has HE. We have been delayed because of the disease we are writing about. But it is happening, we just keep plugging away and waiting for the neurologists stories who agreed to help us out. I was asked to go shopping over night with some friends and I think I will do it. I will try. If I have to sit down every ten mins, so be it, they can go on with out me and I will do my own thing,. I am so anxious to do something fun. I had a visit from an Aunt I see once a week this week the first thing out of her mouth was about my weight. Telling me I had to get some weight off, well my response was, the medication I am on makes me gain weight, and then she said, quit the meds, I could not believe this, I said I can not, she said, why not, and I said because I might die, and she shrugged her shoulders and then said what about walking? I was so upset, does she think I like the weight gain from the preds, the Lexapro, the carbamazepine, etc. I can not walk for more then five mins, can not exercise, I do swim when I can, but like last week I was so sick I sat in a chair for almost the whole week. I believe she would rather see me skinny and dead, then fat and living. I use to be a thin person, and worked very very hard at it too. I do not like what I see in the mirror or the size I buy, but what can I do. I just know I will never let this judgmental aunt in my home again to insult me, as I have enough stress without her making me feel guilty about one more thing. Anyone who has always had their health, and have always had money do not understand how we feel that are chronically ill. It is not a game, it is a war for us. Day in and Day out. Well enough for now, have a great rest of the weekend, and I hope you have no relatives like mine come and visit.