It is another nice spring day here in Michigan, NOT lol. It was suppose to be the first spring day of 70 degrees and it is about 50 out. Next week around 30. What a bummer. I have a small green house I have been waiting to plant in, but by the time I get to do that, the plants will never be big enough to plant in the ground. It is a small green house my husband bought me for my birthday in Feb it fits on our back porch which gets a lot of sun. Yet it is covered that is good for me. I had a huge one at the home we had that burned down a couple of years ago. But with the progression of my health issues this is good enough and will work just fine. Being allergic to the sun, the roof over the green house helps me avoid more sun this way too. Well I think next week, come hell or high water I will be out there one way or another. Maybe a heater will help lol.
Mothers day is Sunday, boy how I miss my mom. It has been two years and it is worst then it was in the beginning and it is suppose to be getting better. But with the house burning only weeks before her death, and then her passing, it was such a blur for so long. I find I am now just moorning things I had not had time too or the mine to before this. It is a scramble of life's trials and errors in the past ten years. But I am still here and not doing to bad considering all the health issues. I love you mom and wish you were here with me. I know you are still looking down on me and guiding me and giving me strength. I so love you and miss your presence. Happy Mothers Day Mom.
Well reading some articles I found out that there are even a couple more drugs I take that makes a person gain weight. YIPPIE. No wonder I can not win. I would love to just stop all of them, (like an aunt told me I should) so I could lose weight, but I know I would more than likely die. So choice is weight gain or not be here. Lets see here, I think I want to live. But even so, Carbamazepine can cause weight I did not know this for the last four years I have been taking it, or the Imuran I am on, along of course with the others. Those I knew of. But these two, Gee wiz.
So the biopsy site is finally healing, but feels so weird in my mouth when I touch it with my tongue, or suck in air, weird, plus my mouth being so dry all the time, makes it feel even weirder. But I don't cringe in pain when I try to eat something so that is good, only took two weeks. Just like the doctor said. I don't know why the dx of this autoimmune disease has sort of attacked my psyche. But it has, I always just sort of shrugged all the other stuff off a shoulder or two, and went on my merry way, but for some reason it is hanging heavy on me. It maybe the fact that in the back of my mind I keep thinking of what next are they going to find? Or maybe because my endurance is less and less, the disease progressing? I try, I really do, I do my own housework, sometimes something extra, but at night sometimes it is such an effort to make supper I am ok to start in the afternoon ahead, but if it is 5 or so, I am done. And I love to cook and bake. It is an effort. If I go to the grocery store as I did a couple of days ago, (by the way someone I know made the comment to me, that I must not be that sick since I was out shopping) (smile) but anyway, I can hardly put them away, never haul them all in, my legs feel like they will give out hanging onto the cart, I have to sit when I get home before I start the putting away process. And then the next couple of days I am out of commission. Not too much energy. My legs are weak, like it is such an effort to walk, I can hardly lift a leg to go up a curb. Just happy I start back on my (body fattening) Imuran again last night. Had to stop because of the biopsy, killing me, but now back on, and hopefully will start to feel more energetic again, or just not so dam tired.
Love you all, and to those of you that are Mothers (of any kind) Happy Mothers Day.
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